Sitting in the Mud

Not too long ago Eric was having a bad day. He compounded his bad day by being mean to Mercie, which promptly earned him a punishment and scolding from Mom. Because he is three, and because this makes sense when you are three, he decided that plunking his butt down in the muddy snow and refusing to come into the warm house, while screaming at the top of his lungs, was the best response.

Being the coldhearted Momma that I am, I shrugged and told him to suit himself.

Mia gave me the most withering glare that a four-year old outraged older sister can give. "He's CRYING," she told me, in an accusing tone of voice usually reserved for ax murderers and terrorists. "He'll stop when he's ready," replied the Mother of the Year.

Mia glared at me again. Then she marched over to the muddy snowbank, gave me one more accusing--and slightly defiant--look, plunked her butt down right next to Eric, and began to cry with him.

Now let me digress for just a minute with another story. When I was 19 I thought I was in love, like really, really in love with the most perfect guy. Being 19 and incredibly stupid, I got mad over something dumb and dumped him. Within a week or so I realized that I'd made a foolish mistake, and I wanted him back. The only problem was, he didn't want me back. In the long run, with the hindsight of years, this was a good thing. But at the time, at age 19, it broke my heart. After we had the "I-want-to-get-back-together-but-you-don't" talk, I went back to my apartment, walked in my bedroom, threw myself face down on the bed and bawled. And I mean BAWLED. Massive, gushing sobs. This was, after all, the End of the World. Gradually I became aware that I wasn't alone. Confused, I looked up and saw, through a curtain of hair and buckets of tears, my friend Melanie. She had seen me come home looking sad and my roommates let her in to my room, and she was sitting on my bed, rubbing my back, and bawling with me. And I mean BAWLING. In typical girl fashion we ended up laughing and crying and hugging and crying some more, and then laughing some more, and then eating ice cream.

That was the first time in my life that I really started to understand the whole concept of charity, and what it means to mourn with those that mourn (Mosiah 18:9). After 30-some years on the planet I'm still learning what Mia knew instinctively--sometimes we just need somebody to sit down in the mud with us and cry. Don't get me wrong--acts of service are needed, appreciated, and most definitely part of the plan. But sometimes it's easier to keep our hands and feet clean, and our emotions safe, by signing up for a frozen dinner in Relief Society and ignoring the 'walking wounded' around us.

Which brings me to the real point of my post: I'm sad. I'm sad because my friends are sad, because they are suffering real pain right now. I have two lovely neighbors who are losing their battles with cancer, and it sucks. I love them and I love their families, and this just hurts.

Amy, Tyler, Aiden, Sam, Adi, and Mike; David, Sue, Gary, Katie, and all the others--I'm sitting the mud with you. And I'm crying.

When it's time to stop crying I'll bring the ice cream.
Love you.

Randomly For No Reason At All

Here is a link to a devotional address given recently by one of my very favorite people, and one of the best mentors I know in the art of discipleship:

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1785&tid=2

Don't you just love the gentle wisdom that seeps through the text? Enjoy!

When Three-Year Olds Teach Gospel Doctrine

Sunday afternoon the kids made cookies. This was a glorious activity, which took most of the afternoon, made a HUGE mess in the kitchen, churned out a few billion pans of cookies, and provided Mommy with more than a few opportunities to duck behind the counter and choke back the giggles. Case in point:

Eric: I don't like Jordan. He's mean. He hits.

Mercie: Ewic, if somebody hits you, you hit them back. Dat's how we follow Jesus in our house.

Grace: Mercie! That's not a truth! That's not what Jesus says.

Mercie: Oh Gwacie, you are just kidding me to deaf.

The January List

Wow--it's a big one. In no particular order, here are the things I'm feeling grateful for this month:

• Johnny Cash. Mostly because I'm listening to "The Man Comes Around" right now and remembering all the reasons I like the Man in Black.
• Junie B. Jones! Discovering Ms. Junie B. with my own kindergartener and pre-kindergartener is the mostest funnest ever!
• Lisa's wonderful Wednesday dinners.
• I have the best visiting teachers. See above.
• Texting at 2am and 4am and 6am, because I know if my phone goes off in those wee morning hours it's one of two people, both of whom are happy reasons to be awake.
• Friends who do such a good job loving and taking care of us that my kids name their dolls after them (ahem, Alicia & Michelly).
• the gym. Nice people at the gym who don't laugh at me.
• I finally learned to drive through an automated car wash. I was so proud of myself that I kept peeking out to the garage at the gleaming, sparkly-clean shine. This has been years coming. It's a far cry from the days when my sisters and I would dump our quarters in the car wash box and use the high pressure hoses to go after each other. THAT'S the way to have a water fight.
• Draper Temple Open House.
• Students. I know, I know, I say this every month. Let's make that, FORMER students. Because this has just been a good couple of weeks that way. David stopped by my office to chat for awhile, Eric joined us for the Clueless orgy, and Tina took me out to lunch. I love having a job that allows me to know wonderful people!
• Fasting. And prayers. This hasn't been a good month for my friends Krista, Casey, Matt, and Sydney, all of whom are battling some form of the dreaded C-word. I'm grateful there is something I can do, and that we have Someone wiser and stronger and smarter to turn to when life is rough and doesn't make sense.
• My sister Smoochie is coming to visit!!!
• Diapers! I may moan about Eric's lack of interest in toilets, but I was reminded last night that it could be MUCH worse. He was running around naked before bedtime and I was thinking "Gee, I'm so glad that at least he's old enough that I don't have to worry about accidents..." and yep--massive, messy pooping all over the kitchen floor and all over Eric. Gracie volunteered to help clean up the floor, gagging and choking while saying, "I can do this. Even though it's disgusting, I can do this. Because I am brave." Dang straight. You are one brave little mama.
• Sunshine! Finally, a break from the endless snow.
• Seeing Chris last week. Because feeling 18 again is priceless.
• Warm AND cute pajamas. Thank you, Mom!
  

New Year. New Goals. New Post.

I actually, really, truly do have four real goals for 2009. I thought about posting them so that stating them publicly would force me to be more accountable, and the thought of embarrassing myself by failing to achieve them in front of my faithful blog audience (thank you, Mom & Betsy) would be a strong motivator to endure.

But the thought of keeping y'all updated on my efforts to get in shape or clean out my basement makes me want to pass out from sheer boredom, and I imagine you'd feel the same way about reading it.

In the interests of simplicity and order, I'm taking a page from several blogging buddies (what--you expected original thought?!) and posting New Year's Resolutions that I can readily keep, and that YOU can readily check up on.

1.) Stay single.

2.) Expand my reportoire of "breakfasts" that can be eaten out of a ziploc bag in the car on the way to daycare.

3.) At least once a month, skip the gym and the treadmill in favor of curling up with a book and polishing off a half pan of brownies.

4.) Fine tune the art of hypocrisy and take my self-righteousness to a new level by setting aside a two-minute meditation period in church each Sunday to reflect on all the ways I'm doing better than at least half the people there.

5.) Use my blog to regularly insult/poke fun/otherwise torture Brain Drain. WHY? Why??? Why do I have this constant sick compulsion, like an itch that must be scratched? Because I'm just a lousy friend. And a bad, bad person. And also because his wife helps--er, I mean, LETS--me. And it's fun. And his kids like it. And did I mention it's fun?

There you have it. 2009 will be the year of the not-so-new, not-so-improved Wendy.

Praying for Those We Love, Or Something Like That

Last night, in a moment of blinding inspiration, I suggested that we do something a little different for family prayer. Instead of one person voicing the prayer for all of us, we would take turns praying, giving thanks for each member of the family and asking God to bless each person individually. Brilliant-Mommy had visions of a sweet, bonding experience as the children tenderly expressed their love for each other in prayer.

It worked for a few minutes.

Then it was Mia's turn. "Dear Heavenly Father, why am I thankful for Eric?"

Mommy interrupted in a whisper, "No, Mia--YOU think of reasons you are thankful for Eric and tell Heavenly Father in your prayer."

l-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng pause.

"Dear Heavenly Father, why exactly am I thankful for Eric? 'Cuz I don't know."

Poor boy. On the other hand, I had some sympathy for Mia. Even as adult I've had my own moments of wondering about some of my siblings...

The Meanest Mommy in the World

Last night at dinner:

Grace: Bibbity, bobbity, boo--I turned you into a nice mommy!

Me: Wow--it worked so fast. Must be because I was already a nice mommy.

Grace: No, you weren't. But you are now because I cast a spell on you.

Me: Hmmm...well, what exactly do nice mommies do?

Grace: Nice mommies, when their children ask them if they can have mac & cheese for dinner, they say yes.

At least I know where I fall short.

When a Child Prays

Three-year old Mercie gave the family prayer last night.

"Dear Heavenly Father, we're thankful for juice and snacks and cookies at church. We thankful to Primary, except Eric. We're thankful for playing in Uncle Dan's room. Thank you that Mommy is a witch. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

There is a story behind this, but it's so much better left as is, don't you think?