Thinking Aloud

Mercie gave a talk in Primary today. Wanting her to do this on her own, I refrained from interjecting or editing her speech. The assigned topic was "Jesus is my savior." This is her talk, verbatim:

I think I love Jesus. I think I'm going to follow His commandments. I think I'm going to listen to Him. I think I'm done.

There you have it.

A Quiet Time of Reflection & Meditation (yeah, right!)

Scripture time at our house gets a little rambunctious some days...

Why Eric Probably Needs Brothers

Eric: "Mom! MOM! Where's my panties?"

Mom: "You mean, your underwear?"

Eric: "NO! I mean, my PANTIES!"

Drunk on Santa-Power

Sometime over Christmas Mia proudly pranced into my room to show off her Santa costume (note the carefully arranged paper towel fragments artfully masking-taped to her chin).

When Grace realized that Mia's creativity had garnered both maternal attention AND the camera, she hurried to take things up a notch, competitive soul that she is.

Mia-Santa trumped her by promptly pulling out the 'naughty' list & adding Grace's name.

Ah, the holiday season, when a spirit of peace and goodwill envelops every household.

Photographic Evidence

that once upon a time, Grace & Mia thought unloading the dishwasher was such a glamorous, highly-desirable activity that they would resort to begging on their knees for the privilege. Really.

Think I'll get any mileage out of this in a year or two?

Doppelgangers: What Do You Think?

The weekly facebook craze is to substitute your celebrity lookalike as your profile picture. I couldn't decide--it was kind of limited to mostly "in my dreams" kinda stuff. However, judge for yourself. In no particular order, here are pictures of celebrities I've been told I resemble. Why yes, I do wonder what some people were smoking in order to see a resemblence with some of these. But since the comparison is inevitably flattering to me either way, I'll take it. What do you think?

Is it Amy Grant?

Hey! Mia just walked in, saw the pictures, and asked if that was me. Wahoo! Two out of four--Eric just asked where those pictures of Mommy came from. Guess we know who Mommy's current favorite children are...

Elizabeth Edwards?
I think she's beautiful, mind-blowingly smart, and unbelievably strong, but you couldn't pay me to trade lives with her.

Patricia Richardson?
I briefly dated a guy who swore I was a deadringer for Home Improvement's savvy momma. Personally, I think he was more in love with her than me.

Rachel Dratch of SNL fame?
Last week a student informed me that he always thinks of RD when he sees me. Um, thanks? Maybe he meant snarky sense of humor... yeah, that was it.

Reba McEntire? Yep, you know I'd have to include her. And not just because I had her hair--BIG, red, BIG, fluffy, and RED through high school.

Sandra Bullock?

Hold the disbelief--I can hear your snorts through the computer screen.

A dear friend who shall most definitely remain nameless once told me that I reminded him of Sandra Bullock. Speechlessly flattered, I stammered out a thank you. He gave me a sideways glance and said, "Yeah, you're so klutzy and scatterbrained, just like the characters she plays." A bit flummoxed, I said, "Hey, if you're going to give me Sandra Bullock, you've got to give me a least of smidgen of physical resemblence, or at a least a 'sexy, just like her.'" "If it makes you feel better you can think that," he replied, "but I was really only thinking klutzy."

Just Another Calm & Peaceful Morning At Our House

Overheard in the early a.m. rush--

"Marry me or I'll bite you!"

"Augh! I already married you two times today!"

"Augh, augh, augh. Why can't I do 'augh' as good as Mommy?"

Years of experience with frustration, my dear.

Secrets

For Christmas Grace's friends Hallie & Timmy gave her a locked diary. Her eyes lit up when I told her about my first diary, and how I used it to write my secrets--like, who I had a secret crush on, and which boys I liked the best.

Grace ran in her room and returned a minute later to proudly show me the first page in her diary, where she had written, "I lik jonivin."

Apparently she has been putting this diary to good use. With her proud permission, here is a transcript of Grace's "secrets."

page 1: "I lik jonivin."
page 2: "I hat eric."
page 3: "I lik mom."
page 4: "I lik mercie."

page 5: "I lik eric win hees nis. I hat eric win hees bad."
page 6: "I luv mom betar thin eric."
page 7: "I doo not lik eric."
page 8: "I hat you eric to."

page 9: "I hat you eric."
page 10: "I luv you mercie."
page 11: "mercie is funee."
page 12: "mia is mi bes fren."

page 13: "mia is wird."
page 14: "I dont lik eric."
page 15: "it is so fun win we play."
page 16: "isnt mia funee"

page 17: "i love you mom."

The Mouths of Babes...

...should sometimes stay shut.

Today in Primary I was teaching a sweet little lesson--with help from puppets named Ella & Bessie--about the importance of using good words. Giving the children different real-life scenarios, I asked what they should do.

"What if I drop something heavy & it falls on my foot & it hurts really bad? Is it okay to say a bad word, like such a bad word that I don't even want to say it in church?"

Big-eyed Primary children around the room solemnly shook their heads 'no.'

My darling Mia pipes up from the back row.

" I know what bad word you would say! It's ---"

Red-faced Mommy rushed to shoosh her while every other grown-up in the room lost it.

Life becomes so much more transparent when you become a parent.

Bring On 2010!

Resolutions:

1.) Keep Little Caesar's (for the kids) and Rumbi Island Grill (for me) financially solvent by patronizing both frequently enough to make up 1/4 of their annual sales.

2.) Stay single.

3.) Flirt with failing no. 2 by having at least one (more would be fine by me) good makeout session in 2010. Since I don't believe in NCMO sessions, this implies some level of commitment and involvement. Scary!!!

4.) Remain the Queen of Denial by setting a never-ending series of fitness goals and failing to reach them.

5.) Enshrine my status as the Queen of TMI by blabbing even more intimate details of my life to total strangers and posting things you never wanted to know on my blog--like details of resolution #3, when it happens.