Friday, October 03, 2008

A Good Reason to Fly United Airlines More Frequently

The last leg of my flight today was hands-down the coolest, most super fun flight EVER, and this is coming from someone who isn't much of a flying enthusiast.

One word: Paul.

Paul was the flight attendant assigned to this particular flight. Paul was very funny. Paul was stationed at the rear of the plane. I was sitting in the rear of the plane. The very rear of the plane. As in, I didn't even need to really stand up and go to the bathroom; I could just shift in my seat slightly and I'd be there. IN the bathroom, not actually going to the this too much information? For 3+ hours we were relatively stuck back there. It could have been just another monotonous flight. Did I mention Paul was very funny?

Anyway, Paul. You've gotta love someone who begins the opening scripted pre-flight announcements by thrusting the mic at me saying, "Here, she'll finish up for me." Or offers a glass of water and says with a straight face, "We're right next to the lavatory--I can pop in and get you as much more as you'd like." (Did you know the lavatory sinks have signs that tell you not to drink that water? I didn't know that...). Or grins at me and says, "Hey, let's lock this lady in the lavatory!" and then actually does it (Who knew there were external locks on lavatory doors? I'll think twice before using an on-flight bathroom again). When I accidentally signed to him at one point he jumped into the seat next to me and began enthusiastically signing back, which was probably something like two-year olds trying to speak pig latin. On the descent he entertained us with stories of the worst drunken messes he's seen in-flight, which led to stories of his own worst drunken messes, which was almost funnier.

The best part of all: I got to hold an honest-to-goodness, real Academy Award Oscar! The real little gold statuette, which in real life isn't so little, and is so freaking heavy it could seriously take someone out. Permanently.

Long story: someone up in first class had it and our lovely flight attendant brought it back so we could ooh and aah and take pictures and 'touch' fame. Yours truly was too lazy to get my camera out of my carry-on that was safely stowed overhead, so alas--no cool pics of me holding an Oscar, in what is surely the one and only time in my life that I will ever be that close to the Academy Awards.

For you sicko minds out there, Paul is young enough to be my child (granted, if I started REALLY, really early), and there seemed to be a pretty good chance he's gay. I'm not devoting this post to him because he was a hunkaburninglove.

Did I mention Paul was funny? 3+ hours giggling on an airplane: priceless.


Steverino said...

Reminds me of one of my best airline memories, when after serving breakfast (choice of pancakes or omelets) to about half the plane, the flight attendant came on the speaker to announce that they were out of pancakes. "The good news," he said, "is that the omelets are pretty much indistinguishable from the pancakes." I think that was United, too.

mommymuse said...

I'm going to try not to think about that too hard...