Reconciliation

Sometimes having teenagers is hard. Sometimes being a teenager is hard. Lately a particular teenager has been making choices that regularly (daily) put her at odds with mom, mostly because I actually care about her future, want good things for her, and hope she'll avoid decisions now that will lead to negative consequences down the road.

Even though it comes from good intentions, it sometimes strains our relationship more than I would like.

Lately that distance felt especially acute and I wasn't sure how to bridge it.

On an unrelated note, I pride myself on putting my Christmas tree way too early--usually before Halloween. When my kids were young they LOVED this holiday tradition. At some point in the last couple of years it became "weird" and "embarrassing" and "totally not cool, mom." I do it anyway--what is parenthood if not license to embarrass your teens--but this year I just hadn't gotten to it.

A couple of weeks ago I came home to find the tree up, decorated, and lights on. This same particular teenager was putting the last ornaments on as I walked in the door.

"Wha---? I thought putting the tree up so early was too embarrassing?"

"It is. I've already told my friends they can't come over to our house for a few weeks so they won't see how dorky this is."

"Why did you put the tree up, then? Maybe it's cooler than you want to admit."

"No. It's not. I don't like having a tree up before Halloween. But I know you do. So I put it up."

"Awwwww, you LOVE me! You really, really love me!"

"Ugh, mom, you are so cringy."

"But you wuv me. You wuv me."

"Not for long if you keep being so awkward about it."

If families are the lab where we practice being human together I'm pretty partial to these lab partners of mine. Healing strained relationships one awkward Christmas tree at a time, that's us.