Thursday, April 18, 2013

Privacy is Overrated, Anyway

For some reason the concept of maternal privacy completely and utterly eludes my children. This is most especially true when I am doing anything in the bathroom. It could be 3am, all four kiddos sound asleep--and if I step into the shower, in the downstairs bathroom, at the opposite end of the house, all four will magically appear, with urgent business that has to be addressed I.M.M.E.D.I.A.T.E.L.Y.

Tonight Grace set a new record for number of interruptions. 27 times during a 20-minute shower. I know this because that is the exact number of math problems in her homework, each of which had to be shouted at me through the shower curtain, along with the answer she had solved, to verify that they were correct.

No. 27 came as I stepped out of the shower and grabbed for a towel. With more than a little exasperation, I said, "Grace, someday you are going to be a mother, and you are going to try having a little peace and quiet by taking a shower ALONE, and your children are going to come in the entire time and bug you, and then you will think, 'my poor mom. Now I know how she felt.'"

For a split second Grace looked chagrined.

Then her face split into a huge smile.

"No, I won't," she announced confidently. "I will just be so grateful to have children that I won't even be mad when they bother me in the bathroom. Just like you. 'Cause I know that really you're super glad to have us and you totally love us, even when we're annoying."

I take three things away from this conversation. One, she's not even ten and she's already seriously outsmarting AND out-schmoozing me. Two, that girl has a future in sales, because I'm pretty sure she could talk Kim Jong-un into reciting the Pledge of Allegiance whilst tap dancing to "America the Beautiful."

And three, if my kids have even an inkling how strong and true my love for them is, I am clearly doing something right. Amen, and amen.