Thursday, April 30, 2009

The April List

Oops! It's the last day of the month and somewhere between the stress of selling one house and preparing to move to another, The List slipped away.

The Quickie List for April (that would be the list of things I'm especially grateful for this month, for new blog readers):
  • Healthy kids & healthy Momma. Knock on wood!
  • Emily! Emily! EMILY! I think she's been on my grateful list a few times. Here is just one teensy reason why: Last week she asked if I needed any help packing. I thanked her for asking. She persisted. Did I need help packing THIS WEEK, because she has a one week break from school and could help? I told her I'd call her if I needed help. Eyes twinkling, she said, "No, I'LL call YOU, because I know you won't call me, so I'll just come do it!" Sure enough, she texted me Monday night and announced that she'd be at my house first thing in the morning, so I'd better have a list ready. I love that girl! When Grace says she wants to be just like Emily when she grows up, I nod and say, "Yes, you do, baby girl. Yes, you do."
  • Betsy, because I had no idea that solving car repair issues could be so silly. Probably because we don't actually SOLVE the issues, which leads to the next item on the list (and thank you, Steve, for the expert banging)...
  • Jake & Lacey! You guys rock, and Lace--you married yourself quite The Man! Freezing cold, pouring rain, getting dark, down on the ground (ew--dirt!), acting like there is nothing else he'd rather be You can't see me, but I'm genuflecting. Really.
  • Boxes, boxes, and more boxes. All the nice people who bring me boxes.
  • Sandals! Weather in which one can actually wear sandals!
  • Toe rings :)
  • A garage. Yes, it's grand being able to park my car in one. It's also a nice place for kids to ride bikes and go crazy when it's pouring rain outside three days straight. Who knew?
  • Marina, my lovely stylist who does such a good job. I'm NOT grateful that she decided to move to Texas next month. Crying buckets of tears and searching for a new stylist, sniff, sniff.
  • The park.
  • Tofu & veggie stir-fry. Mmm. Now I'm hungry...

And one more huge, huge, gigantic thing that is so massively important my gratitude could never be big enough or good enough, but I'll throw it out there anyway--

Ten days away from Mother's Day, I am so grateful for my kiddos' birthmoms. Without them I wouldn't have these four gorgeous, hilarious, brilliant little people in my life. I wouldn't be a Mommy. Wouldn't have nearly so much to celebrate this Mother's Day.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for giving Grace and Mia and Mercie and Eric life, when you could have chosen to end it. Thank you for carefully and prayerfully thinking through what that baby needed, and making an unbelievably tough choice because you were thinking more of that child than anything else. Thank you for carrying that baby and loving that baby and blessing that baby for nine months. Thank you--from my purely selfish heart--for saying goodbye to that baby so I could say hello to every wonder of mothering.

I know it doesn't make the hard parts easier, but please know that every time I hold one of my children close I think of you. I pray for you. I hope good things for you. I love to see you peeking through their eyes, their faces, their mannerisms and expressions. I feel inseperably connected to you, bound together forever by the love we share for this perfect child.

I don't know how things work out in God's grand, eternal plan, but I know that somewhere there is a perfect place where we are together, and terms like "birth mother" and "adoptive mother" fall away, and love is enough to seal us--you, me, and the child we share--together in something stronger than any label or definition.

Adoption has blessed my life, not only because it brought my babies, but because it brought you.

1 comment:

The Clanton Gang said...

Wow! I LOVED your thoughts on birth mothers! You so eloquently put into words what I feel in my heart.
Wendi (from the LDS Adoptive Parents group)