Friday, November 14, 2008

Darcy, O Darcy, Wherefore Art Thou, My Hunka-hunka?

It has been brought to my attention by my friend Becky (and in all fairness, by my friends Julie N. and Julie R. and Alicia and Jen and Melissa L and Melissa D....we'll just stop there before I get depressed) that I am a bit lacking in the romance department.

We're not talking the actual romance department, in which case my response would be a big, fat DUH, since it's only been a few months since the Man Formerly Known as My Husband officially became the Man Formerly Known as My Husband instead of my actual Husband. Since I plan to start looking for the Man Who Will Be My Forever Husband in approximately forty years--or the onset of the Millenium, whichever comes first--it would be safe to describe my life as void of romance.

However, the romance my friends are referring to is the fictional variety, the type that has 99.9% of the fairer sex swooning over Darcy and his fellow lover-boys. For some bizarre reason I'm lacking that Jane Austen gene.

I've never worried about this teeny little character deficiency until today. Becky asked what other romantic heroes I have, from any other books, and I was stumped. I've been racking my brain all day and I still can't think of a single literary hunkaburninglove, out of the thousands and thousands of books crammed into this brain of mine over the 29 years I've been alive and on the planet. Or has it been 27? Michelle worked it all out for me the other night.

This is a concern. How will I know what I want in The Man Who Will Be My Forever Husband if I can't even point to a pretend, made-up Romantic Ideal and say, "That! I like that! I'll take one of those to go, please!"
Here's my plan: since I have approximately forty years to figure this out, the reading begins now. I just went to the library and brought home three JA novels. I believe I mentioned in an earlier post how I'd rather have a colonoscopy than read JA again. Still thinking that. Bring on the snake tube. But hey--29 year olds don't get routine colonoscopies, so I'm stuck with JA. I'm appealing to all my friends here--please, please give me some romantic book suggestions that might actually work, that might actually make me think "oohlala" and feel all twitterpated. I need a LOOOOOONG list to get through 40 years.

On or before November 14, 2048 I will get back to you with my discoveries. Until then, here is some nice eye candy, which reassures me that I am capable of thinking "oohlala," given the right impetus.


tren said...

Johnny Depp, yes, but otherwise, I have come to realize that you and I have quite different opinions of what qualifies as "eye candy". That being said, I can't think of a literary man worth suggesting. I'll have to mull it over for you, but since I have 40 years, I guess there's no big hurry ;0).

Lucy said...

Excuse me, but if my mother memory serves me right, it's been a tad longer tham 29 years that you've resided on planet earth. I won't divulge exactly how many, but it is more than 29! That being said, I also seem to remember you swooning over "The Man From Snowy River" as a teenager. "Eye-candy" was not a phrase in use then,but does he qualify now? Just wondering? Love - MOM

mommymuse said...

Geez, Mom, you are only allowed to post comments if you don't tell all my secrets! That being said, i seem to remember YOU swooning over the Man from Snowy River, too...eye candy knows no generation gap?

Becky and Chris said...

Yes, Mr. Picard does have something of the eye-candy quality, especially now that he's extremely ticked off with those oh-so-intrusive Borg(s? can you pluralize that one since it is already plural, yet it's also just one. I guess it's kind of like the Hive, not hives). Mr. Depp is also quite a catch. I've had a thing for him since 21 Jumpstreet and he has the same birthday as mine. Good luck, shall I say for you, trudging through the Jane Austen collection?

Jessica said...

Oh I am so glad that someone mentioned Captain Picard. I remember your love of him back in the day.
I have some recommendations for you: I too hated Jane Austen until I saw Sense & Sensibility and read the script notes by Emma Thompson. She also hated Jane Austen. So that is a good starting point. The book S&S isn't my favorite -- I think Persuasion is.
A few other romantic favorites: I capture the castle by Dodie Smith. Pope Joan by Donna Wolfolk Cross and Mi Anotonia by Willa Cather.